NED NATTER
He’s tall, skinny and scruffy, he has long sideburns and unkempt hair, he wears a traditional smock top and brown trousers, big steel toe shite kickers the leather’s gone, with laces made of old orange or fluorescent pink twine, he doesn’t seem to go anywhere without his pitchfork [shite-fork]. Born on a farm in Dorset on the south coast of England, there was a rumor that Ned was born in a stable, but the truth is simple Ned was born in the same hay barn he was conceived in, nine months later and five months after his parents got married.
